By Sarina Pasricha
Backstory: http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/09/29/10/aquino-visits-bar-blast-victims-pgh
I condemn the recent bombings during the BAR Exams in Manila, Philippines, where about fifty law graduates were injured.
This is an open letter to San Sebastian law student Raissa Laurel, one of the victims who lost both legs because of the blast.
Dear Raissa,
No matter how hard you try, there will never be an answer to the question “Why?” From this moment, the identity and meaning of who you are changes. Without your permission. At this crossroad, you can either evolve to the next level, and come out better from the experience, or go back to the basics, and spiral down to meaninglessness and self-pity.
I want to reach out to you in the form of a letter. For I, too, reached the edge of chaos when one day I could not stand up and walk; I needed a major surgery to put ten screws, four plates, and two rods in my spine; even while going to graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania. We share almost the same pain.
So from my experience, I want to narrate the working dynamics that defines the mess that no intelligence can fathom except that evil exists because good men do nothing.
The Goal: A Quality of Life
At this time, as you go through unexplainable suffering and endure so much pain, that is only made tepid by the painkillers and morphine drips, never lose your sight on the goal of a quality of life. You have survived injustice, there is meaning in that. Not many can say that they have come out on the other end of a terrorist act with life. Jesus came to give life so that you might live. You are an example that the law exempts no one and justice is for all. For this can only be said on the quality of your life. Think of coming days — being a productive and useful member of society. Think of coming days — being filled with the same wonder and awe in your eyes as when you decided to take up law.
The Means: Unconditional Positive Regard
Look at yourself and those around you with what Carl Rogers calls Unconditional Positive Regard. And, beheld with an equal kind of regard and acceptance. There is no room for hate or self-pity in recovery and rehabilitation. The harder part is now, and it gets more difficult as you push to regain your life back with what seems normalcy. My warning, there is a “new normal”. One that is marked by how you wrestle with your pain. Oh yes, the pain will always be there to answer your question. So be kind to yourself. Do not take it personally when you see them look at you with pity or sorrow or fear. They are the driving forces that push you to recover faster and better.
The Future: Laban!
Finally, Raissa, you are going to win over this, and it will be an episode in your memory and in history. Yours will be a success story that moves a nation into the right path. Lumaban ka! Fight! You will regain your feet. You will walk, skip, hop, and dance! You will live out your dreams with no one telling you of limits. You may choose to expand your horizons and share your survival story beyond. Remember, Penn and other Ivy League universities accept people with merit even in wheelchairs. Remember also, that as you reach the absolute limit of all possible suffering, you might now find yourself that suffering has no limits, and there is more intense suffering in store. Your faith will be your companion in these times, so will your family and friends. You are not alone in this journey. Life begins now.
Best wishes on your recovery and rehabilitation.
Regards,
Sara
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